Screen Time Scuttles

admin May 5, 2019

by Andria Palmer, LCSW-C

TV. Xbox. Playstation. Tablets. Iphones. SCREENS!

Perhaps your teen carries her phone around like an appendage and responds as if you have removed said appendage from her body without anesthesia when the phone is taken. Or your 9 year old son only acknowledges your existence after you have shouted his name for the 12th time. Maybe your toddler throws an epic tantrum when the tablet is taken away so the child can eat a meal. Or you look around at the dinner table and every family member has their attention on some sort of device, ignoring the time honored ritual of engaging in quality family time over a meal via (GASP!) conversation.

Sound familiar? If your answer is yes, don’t worry, you aren’t alone in the struggle. No judgement here. The same scenario is played out by hundreds of thousands of families in America as I type this and you read this. If your answer is no, my hat’s off to you.

As most of you are aware, the American Academy of Pediatrics came out recently with guidelines for use of devices. You can read more about those guidelines here. However, interestingly enough, the research is mixed in terms of how electronic use affects the developing brain. It can be difficult to rule out other factors that can also affect the brain, such as parenting skills. It is also challenging to ascertain whether demonstrated brain differences were a result of devices or if kids who have a different sort of brain structure are more attracted to the stimulus of the devices (Sukel, 2018). The long term consequences aren’t clearly understood and will require more exploration.

Having said that, consider how the brain of a child develops best: through relationships and interaction with the world. Through play. Running, jumping, stacking, pretending, creating, digging, exploring, adventuring kind of play. I believe part of the issue with extended electronic use is that children miss critical opportunities to learn the way their brains were designed to. That’s not to say that the use of high quality programs can be a valuable educational tool, but the problem starts when screen time is replacing physical activity, face to face socialization, and sleep (Evans, 2018). There’s no question that a teen who is up every night until 2am on his phone will be less focused, more irritable, and perform more poorly in school than a teen who is getting their ideal 9-10 hours of sleep.

Another consideration is how distracting devices can be. As I type this, I have looked at my phone no less than a dozen times to answer texts, calls, or simply see what the last banner was trying to grab my limited attention. Now notice your child trying to complete homework with every social media platform known to man vying for her attention. We do better when we focus on one task at a time. It is much better to limit distractions and complete one task at a time at full attention.

Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you my kids never use devices. That would be a lie. Honestly, I would rather them look at their ipad for an hour drive than ask me 8,000 times “are we there yet”. My sanity would otherwise be the cost. But a part of me also recalls playing I Spy, Trivia, and Who Can Find License Plates from the Most States during road trips before all these devices were even a thing. Balancing mom guilt and sanity can be difficult.

I do believe and encourage strong limits for the use of devices. A study of more than 1,400 families in two states discovered that parents who put limits on screen time have children who sleep better, are more pro-social, less aggressive, and at a lower risk for obesity (Sukel, 2017). Anecdotally, many families I know are experiencing successes in creating more calm and less chaos with their kids when they have firm limits on screen time. They say their kids are playing more, appear happier, and engage in less conflict.

Each family needs to develop their own boundaries around electronics. Here a few that I advocate for as a parent and as a clinician:

  • The focus should be on play and physical activity. Electronic use should be an afterthought.
  • Parents need to be willing to model what they expect of their children. If parents are not willing to turn phones off during mealtimes, kids cannot be expected to do the same.
  • Monitor what your kids are doing and playing. Avoid violent games and shows. Set restrictions on the devices.
  • Electronics should only be used in public areas of the home. No sneaking off to the room or keeping the phone in the room at night.
  • Have a time where everything is shut off. This should be well before bed time.
  • Play games together rather than your child being isolated during electronic time. Co-watch those Youtube shows. Join in and get to know their online world.
  • Talk to your kids about online safety. They should learn it from you first. Talk about the things they see online or on TV and pose thoughtful questions that encourage them to think for themselves about the issue (for example, violence, stereotypes, and abuse).
  • Create an electronic plan that fits your family and stick to it. Maintain firm limits and be consistent every time. I consider the electronics (and the internet they use to access them) parental property. Using them is a privilege, not a right.
  • Avoid using media to pacify children. Children (and parents) need to learn how to calm themselves and regulate their emotions. They need a variety of skills to master this. Putting the ipad in front of a fussing child may work, but it is not helping them learn how to manage their big feelings.

Whatever you decide for your family, recognize your role as a parent is to guide and teach your child. Use mistakes as learning opportunities. Advances in technology have led to amazing and important discoveries and our children have access to so much knowledge at the touch of a button that we as children had to read in encyclopedias and periodicals. Mindful media use is the best policy.

Citations

American Academy of Pediatrics (2016). American Academy of Pediatrics announces new recommendations for children’s media use. Retrieved April 25, 2019, from https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx

Evans, (2018). What is screen time really doing to your kid’s brain? Retrieved April 25, 2019, from Protect Young Minds website https://www.protectyoungminds.org/2018/03/13/screen-time-kids-brain/

Sukel (2017). The truth about research on screen time. Retrieved April 25, 2019, from The Dana Foundation website http://www.dana.org/Briefing_Papers/The_Truth_About_Research_on_Screen_Time/

Vandewater, E., Rideout, V., Wartell, E., Huang, X., Lee, J., Shim, M., (2007, May). Digital Childhood: Electronic media and technology use among infants, toddlers, and preschoolers. Pediatrics, 119, Article 5. Retrieved April 25, 2019, from https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/5/e1006.short?sso=1&sso_redirect_count=1&nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token