By Lauren Robbins, Counseling Intern
Were you spanked as a child? Have you considered spanking your child? Have you spanked your child? It’s just tough love, right? Not exactly. The statement, “I turned out just fine” is what I have heard from parents time and time again. Many adults, including myself, were spanked growing up. I would like to think we turned out “fine,” right? But, were we really “fine”? Let’s ask three questions:
1) What is the effect of spanking on children?
2) What is the effect of spanking on parents?
3) What are the effects of spanking on the child’s behavior?
If you do not know the answer to these questions, we are here to help.Discipline means teaching a person, or child, to obey the rules or behave a certain way. There are many methods to discipline. Spanking or any physical punishment not only harms the child but also does not improve the behavior the parent sought to change.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (2019), spanking increases aggression in children and creates a rupture in the parent-child relationship. Their advice—just don’t do it. The parent may be seeking to regain control when spanking their child, but the child’s negative behaviors will only increase in aggression. The lesson learned for a child during spanking is that the person they love most is hurting them. The child cannot think logically in this moment to understand why they are being harmed but they perceive it as a random act of violence. As a parent, harming your child can also take an emotional toll on you. Most parents do not want to harm their child physically and it can harm the child-parent relationship in the process. Spanking causes a lapse in trust. Not only for the relationship, but spanking also negatively affects child development.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (2013), child development in vocabulary and behavioral progression was slower with occurrences of spanking. Discipline does not mean punishment. Positive discipline has been shown to be effective.
This link here, can be used to identify healthy ways to discipline your child. Show and tell is the first tip for a healthy child. Children learn from modeling their parents. Showing a child how to act with calm words and action steps is the most effective tool a parent can use. Your child is always watching you. If you hit them, they learn to hit. If you teach them problem-solving skills like natural consequences, they will follow your lead.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2018). American academy of pediatrics updates policyon corporal punishment. Retrieved May 14, 2019 fromhttps://www.healthychildren.org/English/news/Pages/AAP-Updates-CorporalPunishment-Policy.aspx
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2018). What’s the best way to discipline my child?Retrieved May 14, 2019 from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/familylife/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Disciplining-YourChild.aspx